Roll With the Changes

It's my birthday! Yay for being 25 years old and able to rent a car in California (not that I need it, since I got my car back today - yay again!).

While many people will be celebrating the new year in a few days, I am celebrating my new year today. I had some time of quiet reflection this morning (my phone died, which obviously means I can't do anything but reflect) and I suppose I have gone through a lot. Between my last birthday and today, I mourned the loss of my car, studied so hard my brain turned to mush, accidentally almost went into anaphylactic shock, and of course, divorced my husband. Inbetween all those fun things, I endured countless hours of stress at work, lost some of my best friends in the divorce, and got through all of it. I'm still not 100%. Sometimes I forget that I can't just call certain people anymore, and it makes me sad. Sometimes I really want to eat a banana before I realize that it's evil and I'm allergic to it.

But this is my new year. I don't have my parents in town, so I went to my grandma's last night. That way, I could wake up and have someone with me. I hung out with her, talked to my mom and sister for hours on the phone, and got my car back. Tonight I'm going to dinner with one of my dearest friends, and then going out and having fun with a big group of people.

This is my new year. I know I can get through whatever comes my way. I know that I can make decisions, and that when I make a decision, I can trust myself to get me through whatever it brings along. I know I will cry, but I also know I will laugh so much. I will smile until my cheeks hurt.

This is my new year. I'm going to find a place to live, I'm going to eat like an ordinary person again, and I'm going to figure out a way to sleep. I'll continue working at my job or I'll find a new one. I'll figure out what to do about school. I'll stay in San Diego, or I'll go to Oregon.

This is my new year, and it will be a good year.